As a clinical therapist in Sheffield, I get many couples asking for counselling to sort out issues within their relationships.
Sometimes it is one partner who comes for individual counselling and then they both come together. I can work with each person individually as well as together in complete confidentiality.
They ask about how they can improve their partnerships. Often a key factor is how to better relate to each other. One of the biggest challenges couples often have is, once the honeymoon period is over, the relationship begins to change. The little quirks and nuances that they initially enjoyed about their partner can become irritating.
The roles within the home may feel unbalanced causing conflict. Nagging, shouting, sulking and retreating may become negative ways of communicating that result in a further breakdown of communication as each feels less valued, less understood and not listened to
Sometimes a partner loses interest and seeks excitement elsewhere or a partner no longer wants sexual intimacy. Other times one partner may feel bullied or chastised, another might feel they are no longer special or valued. A new baby can mean sleepless nights and short fuses. The toll of work commitments can leave little time to work on the relationship.
Family and friends will often offer their advice, whether asked for or not and this may create further rifts or concerns.
Coming to a couples therapist gives space for both partners to be heard, to hear each other and to resolve issues that may be simmering under the anger or hurt that presents.
There is no wrong or right or one partner getting more attention than the other as might happen with friends and family.
My role is like a mediator, allowing each to be heard in the session. I have worked with all kinds of couples; married or partners, same sex, long distance, different religions or cultures. Also couples who want to end the relationship as harmoniously as possible, such as those that have separated but want to be more accepting of each other with shared children.
Marriage and partnership issues have ranged from infidelities, household chores, intimacy, anger, depression, jealousy, illness, insecurity and drifting apart to name but a few. I offer tips and techniques to resolve the issues and also suggest homework for the couple to do before the next session. This may involve meeting one of their partner’s needs or using stress management or active listening techniques. I also offer a relaxation MP3 for them both to listen to at home before the next session.
I hope this gives you a better idea how I work and how I can help your relationship improve.
How Couples Counselling Works
Most people listen not to the words and emotions behind the words but they listen for the gaps in between so they can jump in and say what they want to say. This is the quickest way to tell the other person that they have not being listening and that they have not been heard. So we have to create new fertile ground to sow the seeds of active listening. I will show you how to
Create new habits
Make an Appointment
If you think your marriage or relationship needs some friendly help and advise to re kindle your passion and enjoyment, then do please get in touch and allow me to give you the tools to you both, so you are able to move forwards. I can see the both of you together at my home clinic in Sheffield 8, for my usual 1 hour fee. Alternatively I can also see you both individually at different times. We can work out what’s going to be best for you both in the future. So do get in touch with total confidentiality, your personal secrets are safe with me.